Updated: Oct 12, 2020
When your children are little, they may give you a different answer every time you ask their intended future profession. When I found out I was going to be a parent, I would daydream of what my child will be like. My hope was they follow the path of the straight and narrow. You hope they become successful and celebrate their victories. I mean what mom doesn't love to brag about their kids. So many parents live vicariously through their children.
You want what is best for them.
So many of the expectations we have for our children are based on societal views.
They have to go to the best school and participate in extra curricular activities. We want them to be the president of SGA or MVP of the football team. Because come on, it looks good on a college resume, right? But do we ever stop and think does this make my child happy? I know we know what is best for our children…blah blah blah, but do we actually think of what truly sets their hearts on fire? Are we building their God-given talents?
Olina, my 5 year old told me that she wants to be a farmer. Nothing could make me more happy. I gave her a big hug, kiss on the forehead, and told her how happy that made me. Now, I know she will probably change her mind tomorrow, but I want her to know that no matter how minuscule the vision is, it’s her vision. It’s her dream. I see how happy she is playing in the garden, how could I deny her of that happiness.
I don’t intend on sending any of my children to college.
You read that right. I feel it is superfluous. If they have a passion for a field that requires college, I will certainly help in anyway I can, but I will not require a college degree. My parents didn’t really give me much of a choice. I had no idea what I wanted to be when I graduated high school. If we can’t trust a high schooler to drink alcohol, why are we trusting them to make decisions to chart the rest of their life? I graduated high school in 2002 and it took me 8 years to get a 4 year degree. I changed my degree 3 times when I finally settled on a degree that would get me out of college the fastest. Not once did I think about what was going to make me happy, only what would bring me the most money.
I had so much anxiety when I graduated.
I had no job lined up and I had all of these school loans that were now expecting to be paid.
I have been paying $200 a month since 2010, I paid off $19500 in a large lump sum and I still have $8000 to go. Almost $50,000 for a degree I don’t even use! I could name quite a few ways I would have rather of used that $50K. When we require our kids to go to college without properly setting them up financially for it is a recipe for disaster. That doesn’t allow our children to step out into the world courageously.
Please, if your child expresses an interest in college, help them prepare for it. Help them choose schools that are in their price range. Help them obtain scholarships, they may not do it for themselves. If we can’t expect them to pick up their clothes don’t expect them to go out and fill out college scholarships. Please, please don’t let them take out loans to pay for college. There are other options.
But what if all they want to be a farmer? Buy them the seeds. Buy the roadside stand so they can sell fresh cut flowers. Help bring their dreams to fruition. The simple life isn’t a bad life. It’s a fulfilling life. It’s a beautiful life.